All are punishéd!

jeffreywtownsend:

*cough Alayna cough*

Awkward, Jeff. Do I not count? 

(Source: theycallmetheknife)

My sister’s Odyssey of the Mind team is going to OOTM Worlds (in Iowa…) and they are fantastic- this is from their preliminary round. 

kevinjonasruinedmylife asked: WHADDUP LOVELY

I just feel like you should know that, generally, my love for you is inexpressible. Also: I keep seeing things that I need to show you and then I can’t. “How could this be?” you ask in horror. “Well, Gillian,” I would tell you, “I never see you. Even though we go to the same school and we both drive, I never see you.” Then we would cry, slowly and dramatically. Silent-movie style. “Well,” you say, “maybe it’s okay. Maybe the things you wanted to show me aren’t top-notch.” I look at you scornfully and hold up the feminist-themed student newspaper where entire articles are devoted to the difference between “woman” and “womyn” and laugh. Then you would hang your head in sorrow. “Why?” you ask. “Why can’t we see each other?” I don’t know what to say. “Hmm,” I would think. “Why, Gillian! I think I have a solution!” You look at me in surprise. “What could it be?” you ask. “Gillian, we can just schedule a time and place for us to meet, for food or coffee or even just friendship,” I explain. And then we do. And then we are happy forever. The End.*

*I am very aware of the many and egregious change-of-tense grammatical errors in this anecdote. I am also very lazy and do not plan on fixing them. I hope they did not negatively impact your reading experience to a large degree.